2019 Gender 3: Masculinity Reconsidered

In this lecture, we look at how the gender construct of masculinity is being reconsidered across many societies.

Big Question: What does it mean to “be a man” these days?

To recap:

Science now recognizes the complexity of gender diversity: Between the (Gender) Lines: the Science of Transgender Identity

Figure 1: An incomplete and incomprehensive representation of gender identity and sexual orientation. Transgender individuals are those who identify with a gender that differs from their assigned sex. This is a facet of identity that is completely distinct from sexual orientation. These graphs do not represent the full spectrum of either facet, as they are multidimensional. For instance, there may be genders that some identify with that are neither “male” nor “female. Furthermore, there are no “lines” that divide these identities, and they may be considered malleable and overlapping.

“Check Your Privilege”

For conversational purposes, I would describe myself as a “straight, cisgendered male.” A partial list of things I’ve never had to worry about:

  • People thinking my bad driving is because of my gender
  • Getting paid less for the same work because of my gender
  • The chikan on the bus behind me might rape me or kill me
  • Not being able to legally marry the person I love because of gender
  • Being forced to wear another gender’s clothing
  • Being so uncomfortable in my gender I consider suicide

“Toxic Masculinity”

The concept of toxic masculinity is used in psychology and media discussions of masculinity to refer to certain cultural norms that are associated with harm to society and to men themselves. Traditional stereotypes of men as socially dominant, along with related traits such as misogyny and homophobia, can be considered “toxic” due in part to their promotion of violence, including sexual assaultand domestic violence. The socialization of boys often normalizes violence, such as in the saying “boys will be boys” with regard to bullying and aggression.

Personal Evolution

Dad & Fish
Kinji & Me
Kinji & Eden

Featured TED Talk

Yes, we all know it’s the right thing to do. But Michael Kimmel makes the surprising, funny, practical case for treating men and women equally in the workplace and at home. It’s not a zero-sum game, but a win-win that will result in more opportunity and more happiness for everybody:

from TED

Why Gender Equality is Good for Everyone — Men Included

Questions for Reflection (reply below)

  • Is “toxic masculinity” a problem in your culture? Why or why not?
  • What is Kimmel’s main point?
  • In your own family, how much of the housework is shared between the genders?
  • What are your expectations of gender equality in your future family?

22 thoughts on “2019 Gender 3: Masculinity Reconsidered

  1. 1 yes. I have to get rid of the idea that women are inferior to men
    2 Admit women to live freely
    3 All mother
    4 Men can also have children

    Like

  2. 1.Yes, it is. Because there are a lot of ideas about “toxic masculinity”, such as “men should be strong”.
    2.I think that he says we should realize our privileges. Also, we should not force our opinions on somebody. “Gender equality” is very important for us.
    3.Two. Cooking, and cleaning.
    4.I want to share housework without thinking of my gender.

    Like

  3. 1. Yes, because in our culture there is a mindset like “a non-virgin woman should be blacklisted”, and this kind of mindset are only apply to non-virgin woman. In my opinion, this is very unfair, because it means that man can do anyhing they want, including having sex with any woman as much as possible, and we, woman will.be judge by society even when we only do it once.

    2. The main point in the video are:
    -gender equality is not only about being a men or women, but also having previlege as ” white” women as well,
    – there is a bias in society where people would think that man are always objective than woman,
    – gender equality can increase happiness in society.

    3. In my family, women are the one who does cooking, wash the clothes, ironing, sweeping and mopping the floor, while men are the one who do the gardening. There are some housework that we do together, which are clean the window, wash the dishes and take care of our pets.

    4. My expectation of gender equality in my family in the future is that my husband will allow me to work. And for housework, I want me and my husband to keep switch our houswork, including taking care of our child, because I want my children to have a strong bond with their father, not only with their mother.

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  4. 1.I think “toxic masculinity”is a problem in my culuture. Because it has a bad meaning like sexual assaultand domestic violence and it give a bad effect on children.
    2.The gender equality has a positive impact on not only men but also states and companies.
    3.women;men=8;2
    4.I espect to do housework and childcare equally. People who go home early make food,people who has a free time wash the dishes and so on.

    Like

  5. 1. I think “toxic masculinity” is a problem because these days, there are many mans of various types. For example “Herbivorous boys” is. But, sometimes we may wish some boys to behaviar as a man.
    2. Gender Equality is not only for women. Gender Equality is also for men, country, company, their partner, family and children.
    3. My mother does cooking, washing, cleaning. My father does ironing shurts, cleaning our gurden, sometimes cooking, washing, cleaning.
    4. I want to make a system “Do someone who can now”. If someone has a free time, he or she do housework. If two people have a free time, they do housework together.

    Like

  6. 1.No, because I don’t feel such a problem is very serious around me.
    2.Gender equality is good thing for countries, companies, and men. To share housework and raising kids is very important.
    3.one for one
    4.I want my future husband to do housework and raise my children when I am in work.

    Like

  7. -I don’t think there is less “toxic masculine” in Japan compared to past days. These days Harajyuku style which is not like masculine at all is much more popular. If Ryucheru had lived in past days, he must had been seen as weird one, but nowadays he is a star of those who love Harajyuku style.
    -His main point is that gender equality is not a win-lose, but win-win for everyone.
    If men do the housework and child care instead of their wife, both men and women can be healthier. Their would have less stress, and what more is that their kids would be healthier and get better scores at school.

    -Every housework is shared in my family, my dad does dishes, washing clothes and cook, and my mom does repairing and renovating of our house when it’s needed.

    -of course, I want my future husband do as much housework as me, and also I don’t want be thought that I cannot do physical labor.

    Like

  8. Is “toxic masculinity” a problem in your culture? Why or why not?
    -I think it is problem. Society is changing. We need to admit new sense of value.
    What is Kimmel’s main point?
    -Gender equality is in the interest of country, company, and of men, children, parents.
    In your own family, how much of the housework is shared between the genders?
    -In my own home, farther and mother sometimes share various housework. Mostly, my mother does. Sometimes, I help them.
    What are your expectations of gender equality in your future family?
    -Ideally, it is good to realize sharing housework, childcare. I am willing to help my family members.

    Like

  9. ・Is “toxic masculinity” a problem in your culture? Why or why not?
    Yes.A lot of people have old ideas of gender roles and stereotypes in Japan. There still are a lot of many difficult positions in Japanese society for women to achieve, such as politicians and company presidents. I think that is because the idea of men being men and being good at leading people is still strong in a lot of people’s minds. Also, rules like uniforms and what kind of lessons a child takes show toxic masculinity. Even though this kind of trend in lessons has decreased, a lot of people think it is strange in Japan for boys to learn things like ballet or dancing instead of soccer and martial arts. We Japanese have to improve these ideas and let boys be themselves as human beings, not “boys”.

    ・What is Kimmel’s main point?
    I think Kimmel’s main point is to share the idea that gender equality is an win-win solution. Men should know subjects like feminism and gender are important which are worth fighting for to achieve equality.

    ・In your own family, how much of the housework is shared between the genders?
    The amount of housework shared between genders is not totally equal in my family. I guess it is hard for my father to support my mother fully because he does a lot outside home, but he is trying hard to finish what he can. As for my mother, she says that my father and brothers “sometimes” help her a lot, but not always.

    ・What are your expectations of gender equality in your future family?
    I want equality in my future family. It would be better if everybody did what they are good at than others at home. I would like to share the amount of housework every family member does and achieve a win-win relationship like Kimmel said in his talk.

    Like

  10. (1) Is “toxic masculinity ”a problem in your future?And why or why not?
    – Yes.I think “toxic masculinity ”is one of gender roles and stereotypes.
    Actually, when Prince George Alexander Louis of Cambridge did ballet, one American news caster laughed at him. The news really surprised me.And I thought,“Why was he laughed??”The reason that the news caster laughed at him is there is gender stereotype which a lot of people think ballet is what girls do.

    (2)What is Kimmel’s main point?
    -Gender equality is not only for women but also for Countries,companies and men.
    If men do the housework and childcare by cooperating with women, both men and women will be happier and healthier.

    (3)In your own family,how much of the housework is shared between the genders?
    – In my family, my mother does almost all the housework because my father is always busy with work,so my mother does that as a housewife.

    (4)What are expections of gender equality in your future family?
    -If I will get married,I hope my husband and I cooperate with each other and both of us do the housework. The reason why I think is housework is so hard..
    Generally, most of work can take days off,but we must do the housework all year around,so men and women should do it together.

    Like

  11. • Is “toxic masculinity” a problem in your culture? Why or why not?
    Yes. As much as it becomes a problem in other countries, it becomes a problem in Indonesia too. First, for a man, being a feminist is considered dandy. Most men in Indonesia think of it as an exaggerating way of thinking. As feminism raise in attention, more females speak up about their experience in being sexually harassed by men and most common of the form of harassment is catcalling. But in fact, a lot of men think that catcall is not something dangerous. They say that it is okay to catcall women. They say it’s common and it’s a way of them to show their attention and affection towards women they consider attractive. And what is the most destructive point of this is that they claim that women like being catcalled. It’s a very disgusting way of thinking.
    In rape cases (men rape women), this toxic masculinity way of thinking make the man do victim blaming. They blame women for not covering their body enough and they blame women for causing their uncontrolled lust and horny behavior that ruin the women they rape.
    The idea of polygamy, I think, is a form of toxic masculinity too. They think it’s okay to have a lot of partners, for men. It’s okay to have a lot wives. The idea came from muslim teachings about man can marry several helpless women, to help them, of course. But most of the men in Indonesia use this chance to marry, not the helpless ones, but the young and pretty ones, to satisfy their lust. And it’s okay, because they are men.
    I want to tell you my personal experience regarding the behavior of men that I think as toxic masculinity. Back when I was in highschool, I dated a boy for 4 months. In Indonesia, sex outside marriage is considered illegal and immoral. And too much skinship is also immoral. We were 16, and we kissed. But literally touchy kiss, and no more. But after we broke up, he told about our ‘experience’ to every male friend he had. Apparently, men consider touching women as conquest. And my ex had ‘conquered’ my lips. I felt betrayed and embarrassed of course. I didn’t and I still don’t want my partner (or ex-partner) to share their so-called experience and think of it as some sort of conquest. That, is a really toxic masculinity.
    Older generation also are more into toxic masculinity as they still think that men ought to be the head and dominant alpha of the family while women should be in the kitchen and taking care of the family.
    And those points explain enough why toxic masculinity in Indonesia is problematic.

    • What is Kimmel’s main point?
    Privilege is invisible to those who have it, and that’s why most men don’t think that gender equality is important. Gender equality is an important thing for countries, companies, and also for men. Countries who are the most gender equal also score the highest in happiness scale. Companies which are the most gender equal have higher rates of productivity and job satisfaction. Men who are aware of and support gender equality actually have more balance work and family with partners, and so they are happier with their life. Younger generations tend to be more gender equal as they are into dual career dual care couple. Men who share housework and childcare actually make their children happier and healthier, and also have highest marital expectations.
    The main point of the talk is that gender equality is not a zero-sum game, it is a win-win. Which is why gender equality should be in men’s interest and why we should make gender visible to men.

    • In your own family, how much of the housework is shared between the genders?
    My father actually doesn’t do any housework. My mother basically does all the housework and childcare before she starts working too. When I (as the eldest child) am old enough to do housework and due to financial struggle too, my mother starts working and so I do most of the housework and childcare (taking care of 3 younger siblings). But my father takes care of things like fixing the things in the house or do some minor renovations. Lately he’s been cooking for us every Sunday too. So back then, he’s not involved at all, but lately he’s been quite involved in the housework, although most of them are still done by the women in the family (my mother and I).
    Since I get into college and start working part time as a tutor, my brother (he’s currently first year in highschool) has been sharing my share of housework too. So there’s no gender in doing the housework now.

    • What are your expectations of gender equality in your future family?
    I want my futute family to be like my current family. Although marriage is not on my mind right now, but if I, am to be married, one day, I’d like to be no gender role in the division of housework. I can’t cook, so I expect my partner to cook for me, and since I’m well-experienced in childcare, I’m optimistic that I can raise my children well, but of course, I want to be a working mom too, so I’d like my partner to also be involved in childcare. So badically, my future family will be genderless. Anyone can do any housework and childcare regardless of the who’s man and who’s woman.

    Like

  12. 1. It is problem, because in this era the toxic masculinity is not suitable anymore. Stereotypes of men can not doing housework and childcare should not exist anymore. In this era gender equality is really matters. Men and Women can do anything. Men is feel free to sad or cry, men is feel free to express their affection more. Now there should not boundary between women and men
    2. The main point is there sould be gender equality, where gender equality is not just about women, gender equality also about men. Nowadays, men expect to able to balance work and family, men can do both between work and family also women can do work and family. Gender equality is actually a way for us to get the lives we want to live. Gender equality is not about win-lose, it is a win-win for everyone
    3. At first when i was a kid, it kind of imbalance between the role of mother and father in my family. My mother go to work and then my father doing housework and childcare. And then,both my father and mother go to work, but we still have the affection from both,but in the housework my mother do it more. I think in our family we still terpenuhi peran dri ayah dan ibu eventhough they busy work. I think my parents have a good teamwork they divide they role in family
    4. For my future family i want to have balance in our family and gender equality is really matters in my family, where i as a mother and my husband can do both housework and childcare. I want me and my patners have a good teamwork,I want to have lovely family where my future children can feel the affection from both parents. I want my husband is understanding man we can help each other in childcare and also supportive me to become a career woman

    Like

  13. 1. Yes, men must act strong to show their masculinity so they don’t look weaker than women. For them, being manly means being violent
    2. If men also take part on sharing the housework and childcare, wives and their children will be happier and healthier. They want to be able to balance work and family.
    3. Gender equality occurs in my family. Like a women, are take part of laundry cooking and shopping for home needs. While men take part of electricity, living expenses and sometimes fix something’s broken in house. But all person are responsible in taking care of children and cleanliness. Depends on who’s more have time and able to do it. And all are allow to get a job.
    4. I hope that women and men are responsible for all household matters. When women take care of something that only men do, they must try to do it as possible they can, not waiting for men to take over, and so for men.

    Like

  14. question 1
    Yes. We have a “Toxic Masculinity” problem in Japan.
    For example, the man boss uses his abuse og authority, he picks on woman who are pregnant or soneone else are in weak position.

    qestion 2
    “Gender Equality” is the win-win for everyone.

    question 3
    100% woman. Almost mom.

    question 4
    I think we’ll have a gender equality in my future family. But I want to shere housework with my future husband.

    Like

  15. 1. Yes. Many people have believed that men must be strong. Therefore, I think men don’t make complaints even if they have trouble. So, Japanese men is prone to suffer from depression than woman.

    2. I think it’s that gender equality is in the interest of countries of companies, and of men and their children and their partners. In short, gender equality is good for everyone.

    3. My parents rarely share. Although, my mother is working, the housework is almost her role in my family.

    4. I expect to be able to balance work and family with my future husband because I want to work outside. Japan has a stereotype that men is work and women is housework and childcare. But, I won’t be bound by this stereotype.

    Like

  16. ・Yes, because there are many prejudis in Japan.
    Forexample man should work and woman should house work in her house. I think that these culuture are wrong.
    ・His main point is gender equality cause many good influence.So we promote gender equality for us.
    ・No division of house work. My mother doing house work every day. On the other hand my father help a little.
    ・I want to share with woman and man. Iwant to say “It is natural things that share house work.”
    And I want to cooperate with our children too.

    Like

  17. 1. Is “toxic masculinity” a problem in your culture? Why or why not?
    Yes, it is. Many people regard “masculinity” as being strong, having strong-willed. However, I think that there are a lot of men who struggle with being considered as these. I have seen the men who likes this and is one of my friends. He has not a strong-willed so much. So he was not regarded as “not masculinity”. But, he has manual dexterity and good sense. He can paint a beautiful and delicate picture.

    2. Making gender visible men is the first step to engaging men to support gender equality. The class and race are also similar.

    3. In your own family, how much of housework is shared between the genders?
    In my family, My mother have high ratio of the housework.
    She is not good at cooking rather than my father.
    But it almost be her work. When he sometimes cooked, he said “Is this tasty more than mum’s, right?” Then, I disgusted with his attitude a little bit.

    4. What are expectations of gender in your future family?
    I expect my future family are gender stereotype free. I hope so.

    I am so sorry for the late submission.

    Like

  18. 1. Is “toxic masculinity” a problem in your culture? Why or Why not?
    Yes, I think most Japanese people have a stereotype men must be strong. Actually, man is physically stronger than woman. However, some men thinks too much to be strong, they are forced to mental.

    2. What is Kimmel’s point?
    I think the gender equality is about women , however, it is very important for us to engage men to support
    gender equality. He thinks that gender equality as something that is detrimental to men.

    3. In your own family how much of the housework is shared beteen the genders?
    In my family, my mother does most of the housework (cooking, washing, cleaning and shopping).
    Sometimes, my father help her to do the housework. For instance, taking out the garbage.

    4. What are your expectations of gender equality in your future family?
    I hope I and my futuer husband share the housework so as not to burden each other. Especially, if I have a baby, I want to share childrencare with my future hasband.

    Like

  19. ① I think that“toxic masculinity” is not a problem in our culture.
    Because I have never felt the pressure of having to be masculine in my home.
    In my childhood, I personally had an interest in using my mother’s clothes and makeup in my curiosity, but my parents did not get angry with me.
    Therefore, I have not been forced to be masculine from the surrounding environment. “Shinjuku Nichome” in japan is a famous gay town in the world. In that town, many men act in a way that suits their spirit, and many gay talents appear on Japanese television.
    So, previously men were asked for masculinity and may have been painful,
    but now such prejudice is gradually disappearing in Japan. I think it’s a comfortable environment for men who don’t match spirituality and physicality now in Japan.
    ② It is important to confront men’s rights consciousness and believe that men share housework and childcare, leading to happiness and health for men themselves. And importantly, we believe that gender equality is in the interest of countries, of companies, and of men, and their children and their partners, that gender equality is not a zero-sum game. It is a win-win for everyone
    ③ My family don’t have a culture of dividing housework according to gender. My father is mainly washing dishes, washing clothes and cleaning, and my mother is mainly cooking and bath washing. When one is busy, the other made up for it, so I don’t think dividing housework according to gender.
    ④ As I mentioned earlier, in my family environment where I grew up, there was no culture to separate housework by gender. When one is busy, the other make up for it. I think we should use each other’s attention so that your husband or wife can live smoothly. And if your partner wants to work, you must not disagree with partner’s opinion by gender problems. I think parents who have time for housework or childcare should do it for supporting your partner who work hard so that the burden is not biased.

    Like

  20. ・Is “toxic masculinity” a problem in your culture? Why or why not?
    −Yes. I think “toxic masculinity” is stereotype. For example, many people tend to think that man must be strong. Moreover, some people say, “Be a man, and don’t cry!” Therefore, they are often unable to be themselves. We need to understand various values and remove this stereotype.

    ・What is Kimmel’s main point?
    −“Gender Equality” is in the interest of countries, of companies, and of men. It is a win-win for everyone. Moreover, we can’t fully empower women and girls unless we engage boys and men.

    ・In your own family, how much of the housework is shared between the genders?
    −In my family, most of the housework is done by my mother. I don’t have father, so housework is shared with me and my mother.

    ・What are your expectations of gender equality in your future family?
    −I want to do my housework and childcare as much as possible with my family. I hope to live by thinking about each other without imposing a role.

    I am sorry for the late submission.

    Like

  21. 1.Yes,because In my coulture there are the custom which man should go to work outside the houseor be
    storong.
    This kind of values take away men and women options.

    2.If men and women help each other,we will be able to make good socity.

    3.Two.Woman cook dinner and man weed the gareden.But there are reasons.Men in my family cant’t cook
    and womwn don’t like bug. My family just sharing.

    4.Distinctionb of sex create inequality.So I think if someone have free time,that person help family.

    Like

  22. I feel Japan’s “toxic masculinity” idea is gradually less. Especially the case of forgive because someone a boy. But there are still idea that boys must be strong. In preparation of the school event,  school sometimes divided us boy and girl, then they have boys heavy work and girls have light work.

    Sharing housework isn’t for only women but for both of man and woman.

    In my family, my mother usually does all of housework because she doesn’t have job outside, means fill time housewife. But when she go out,  my father always helps her and do all of housework.

    In my future family, I hope to share housework regardless of gender. If we effort each other to help, it doesn’t matter gender.

    Like

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